Half Sick of Shadows
by Queenie Z
Summary: A life of self-denial, a love unrequited, a small seed of despair - madness, the ultimate price she paid to realize her impossible dreams. Spoilers for Hyrule Warriors!


**Half Sick of Shadows**  
><strong>by Queenie Z<strong>

Deep in the enchanted forests of Hyrule, where spirits danced and fairies flocked, there was once a little girl, pure and untainted by the evils of her world.

She gazed in awe and wonder at the crystal ball before her and the delicate, wrinkled hands of the wise old woman whose lap she sat in. Her eyes wide, she found herself utterly enthralled by her teacher's magic, magic which allowed one to transcend the boundaries of time and gaze into the heart of history itself. She saw lands more vast and lush than even the forest she called home, more souls than she could count, good and wicked alike - and as she marveled at all of the wonders the ages had to offer, she began to grow curious about them.

One sight, in particular, grabbed the child's attention - two souls, embracing under the shade of a tree, their auras shining like twin stars in the night sky. Who were these souls, she wondered? What were they doing, and why?

At her questions, the old woman chuckled. Why, they were lovers, she answered; two hearts that were destined to come together as one. The light of their auras showed that they were a most fortunate couple indeed, who would surely live together happily, forever blessed by the goddesses who had created them.

Two hearts, destined to be happy together... what a lovely idea, thought the little girl. However, as she reached out to touch the crystal and study it more closely, the image disappeared.

The wise old woman lowered her hands, and with a smile, she petted the child's hair. She had no need to ponder such things, she explained - after all, the destiny that heaven had in store for her was far more important.

But the little girl was only left confused by her explanation. What destiny, she wondered, could possibly be greater than one which promised a lifetime of happiness with another?

* * *

><p>In hindsight, she would realize that her adolescence had been marked by a unique brand of solitude. With no one but the fairies of the forest and her teacher to call her friend, she immersed herself in her studies, preparing for the sacred duty she would one day inherit. She began to master the magic that had been bestowed upon her, that which marked her as the rightful heir to the role of Guardian. Time and space became hers to command, and she had learned much of history's secrets, perhaps moreso than anyone else in her world.<p>

However, as her power grew, so too did her curiosity. Within the holy crystal ball, she one day bore witness to a most grand wedding, a celebration of love more exciting than she could have ever imagined. Though she was well aware that using the crystal for personal amusement was frowned upon, she couldn't help but linger at the scene; she watched in breathless excitement as the minstrels played their joyful songs, and she even found herself getting up to join the guests in their dances, giggling all the while.

Once the ceremony began, however, she found her gaze fixated on the souls of the bride and groom. Their auras alight with happiness, they made a sacred oath, vowing to love and protect one another until the end of their days - then, with the blessing of their goddesses, they sealed that oath with a kiss. Her heart swelled - of all the wondrous things she had seen, of all the sights and secrets that the power of the Guardian could offer her, this moment of bliss between two people was one of the most unforgettable.

Entranced, her mind began to wander, and in her reverie she saw herself in the bride's dress, laughing and singing and dancing with a groom of her own. Who _would_ her groom be, she wondered? Someone kind, for sure, but it wouldn't hurt to wish for someone handsome as well, would it? Or, perhaps, her groom would be a man of adventure and excitement, one who could show her in person all the wonderful things she had seen in her crystal, who could take her far away from this lonely forest, at least for a little while...

Suddenly, she was startled by a stern voice, and she turned to see her teacher, watching her with almost melancholy disapproval. The scene in the crystal dimmed, and she lowered her gaze in shame.

The wise old woman approached her, petting her hair as she reminded her of her duty. A Guardian of Time does not want; she does not involve herself in the affairs of this world. She can only observe.

* * *

><p>When she came of age, she graciously accepted the role she had been given at birth and all of the burdens that came with it. Her wise teacher gone, she was left with only her own thoughts to accompany her. She performed her duties with grace and dignity, finding purpose and joy in maintaining the balance of this wonderful world she lived in - and yet, she often felt an emptiness in her work. She could see, but not touch; observe, but never interfere. She could watch as the world offered such amazing things... but she could never have those things for herself. However, long as she could do her part in ensuring the happiness of all the souls she had seen, as long as she could reassure herself that her sacrifices were worth it, she could renounce the pleasures of the mortal world in peace.<p>

Or so she thought.

One day, her visions of the ages came to an era of war and suffering; an era where evil had overtaken Hyrule and all hope seemed lost. But just as the image in her crystal became crowded by the shadows of demons and the visage of their king, she saw one soul, one single, shining soul whose noble aura pierced through the overwhelming darkness. A mighty hero in green, showered in the blessings of the goddess Farore and Her sisters, who raised his holy sword against the Demon King and emerged victorious. She watched awestruck as his light radiated throughout the land, purifying it and giving hope and a future to every soul within.

This soul, this Spirit of the Hero, was unlike anything she had ever seen in all of her years. His courage inspired her, and his kindness touched her heart as it had never been touched before. In an instant, she felt a stirring, that stirring of curiosity and desire from her youth that she thought she had repressed. Though she knew she had her duties to attend to, she knew she had to learn more about this Hero, this amazing soul whose virtue and strength could bring demons to their knees.

She lifted her hands, and the image in the crystal changed rapidly as she scoured the eras for the answers she sought.

* * *

><p>For days, for weeks, she acquainted herself with the Hero of lore and his many journeys. During her search, she was amazed to discover that each and every time Hyrule was threatened by darkness, a new Hero, a new incarnation of that single, radiant soul, would arise to defeat it. Such an incredible act of the gods, she thought - and such <em>legends<em> their chosen one had left in his wake! Throughout his many lifetimes, he had flown in the skies, traveled through time, braved the depths of shadowy realms, and so much more. Each new journey she observed seemed more exciting than the last, and each new tale of victory only fueled her infatuation with him.

For the first time in years, she found her mind wondering towards forbidden thoughts once again. She imagined a day when a new Hero would wander into her forest upon his mighty steed, when he would offer her his outstretched hand, when she would join him on his incredible adventures, fight by his side, hold him close... Though she knew such daydreaming was horribly childish, she indulged herself regardless, for it was the thought of his arms around her that comforted her most in her loneliness.

But as she replayed his journeys in her crystal, she began to realize the reality of her fate. She soon noticed that each of Hero's incarnates had one thread in common: a powerful, almost sacred bond with one of Hyrule's Princesses. In almost every one of his battles, a Princess was there, fighting by his side and earning his respect, his friendship - perhaps, even, his love. Surely, this was a part of the goddesses' great plan to protect their world... but where did that leave _her_...?

As she watched the Hero and Princess emerge victorious from yet another of their great battles, she felt a pain in her chest, like a vise closing in on her heart. How could she have been so foolish? There was never chance she could have been with him - in all of his lives, he would have never even known she existed in the first place! Their goddesses had given them all their preordained roles: the Hero to protect their world, the Princess to fight at his side, and herself, the Guardian, the omniscient keeper of balance, who would forever remain in the shadows, with nothing _but_ shadows to keep her company.

And she found herself growing _sick_ of those shadows.

In a fit of rage, she grabbed hold of the crystal ball and held it high in the air, a dark energy emanating from her palms as she attempted to shatter it. Of all the sick, cruel, twisted pranks fate could have played on her, why did it have to be _this_!? Why was _she_ the only one who wasn't allowed to want, to dream, to _love_!? If this truly was the great destiny the goddesses had in store for her, why couldn't They grant her _mercy_ and take this accursed desire away from her...!?

However, when she felt her tears dripping down her face, she realized what she was doing, and the dark energy quickly dissipated. She lowered her arms, collapsing in a heap as she hugged the crystal tightly. This wasn't right, she knew; this anger, this jealousy wasn't right... but it was there, and it _hurt_. It hurt so, so badly...

A wail escaped her lips, a cry of pain and torment that none but the trees could hear - a cry that opened the gates for something dark and malevolent to slither its way inside of her.

* * *

><p>One moment of weakness, one tiny seed of darkness within her soul was all the evil one needed to take its hold on her heart.<p>

She had tried to fight it - by the goddesses, she tried, using every spell she knew in an attempt to recontain the beast's spirit, but it was too little, too late. It had already set its sights on the pain she harbored, and once it had been let in, there was no escape.

She screamed as she felt its claws rend her mind and soul in two. Her goodness and her wickedness, her conscious and her selfish desires, were violently torn apart. Her light cast away, it could only watch in horror as the Demon King's whispers drove mad the husk that was left behind.

_Foolish child... Why is it that you weep?_

She wept for the things she could never have; for her dreams that she knew would never come true.

_What do you blame for your unfulfilled desires?_

Her fate... her destiny... the wretched goddesses who had forced it upon her...

_Then challenge your fate. Break free from your destiny. Rebel against the goddesses... and take that which you desire the most._

Challenge... break free... rebel... could she really...?

_I give you my power, sorceress. Build my armies. Reunite my spirit. Gather the remaining pieces of the Triforce - only then will you be able to claim the Hero as your own._

The Hero... the Hero... the Hero... Yes! Of course! If she could not have him, then she would take him by force! She would take this entire wretched world and everything in it - everything she had been denied would finally be hers!

Freed from the shackles of morality, the rage within her flared into a terrifying energy. She cackled madly as she allowed it to consume her completely. From then on, she was no longer the meek Guardian of Time who allowed everything she wanted to slip through her fingers; now, she was the Dark Sorceress, feared and respected, a tyrant who would crush all that would deny her of her dreams...!

* * *

><p>Though her evil soul had been claimed by the Demon King, she felt herself freer than ever before. She razed the forest she had once been trapped in to the ground, and she built armies of deadly creatures with which she could terrorize the masses. She had even enlisted the help of a stubborn Dragon Knight and a cheeky little magic ring, though she had to resort to violence when they wouldn't come willingly. Fair enough, she supposed - after all, how would she wrest her desires from the world that had taken them hostage if not by brute force?<p>

Her march of destruction would soon lead her into the heart of the Kingdom of Hyrule - and, oh, how she longed to see it burn! So much she had sacrificed for this goddess-forsaken realm without so much as a "thank you" in return! She hated how they all went about their daily lives ignorant of the suffering she had endured for them... and she figured that now was as good a time as any to teach them a lesson about it.

Her attempt to destroy the kingdom's fairies was met with a great deal of resistance, including a nice sampling of castle soldiers she could take out her frustrations on. One captain in particular caught her attention on the field of battle, who had been the sole survivor of a raid on his squadron. The man was clearly outnumbered, clearly exhausted, and yet he still fought with all of the persistence of a cockroach. Amused by his futile struggle, she approached the captain, lifting him high into the air by simply lifting her finger.

She listened as the man began to finally break down. He begged for mercy, he pleaded for his life - he had a _family_, he screamed, a wife and son who _needed_ him! If he were to die, a poor woman was going to be left a widow!

Of course, this garnered no sympathy from her, whose last shred of goodness had been cast away long beforehand; in fact, his pathetic pleas seemed to merely feed her bloodlust. A _widow_, he said? _Good_. This world had already broken her heart, and she'd been looking for a chance to return the favor.

She grinned sadistically as she allowed dark magic to form in her palm; then, she crushed it in her fist, laughing as the captain burst into indigo flames.

* * *

><p>As the war raged on, she found countless outlets for her hatred upon the battlefield, but it was her sacred place, her Temple of Souls, where she found solace. It was a palace of illusions, twisting and changing to reflect the true nature of those who dwelled there, and with her as its mistress, it became anything but welcoming. But it was just as well, she thought - hospitality wasn't exactly the first thing on her mind at that moment.<p>

No, the first thing on her mind, the _only_ thing on her mind, was put on full display throughout the Temple's twisted halls. Portraits of the Hero, her beloved Hero, dozens upon dozens of them, lined the walls, with more seeming to appear upon each passing day. She knew that the rest of the world would have called her mad had they seen this veritable shrine to her darkest desires, but she cared not for their judgment. Now free from the Demon King's influence, she had surpassed the judgment of mortal men and gods alike, and the only force that she would bow to was that of her own wants.

When she wasn't formulating her next devious plot, she would lock herself inside the Temple's innermost chambers, gazing upon her portraits for hours and allowing her imagination to run wild once again. Her daydreams, which once featured storybook romances and happily ever afters, had become as dark and sadistic as she had; her childish reveries of her love coming for her on a mighty steed had been replaced by wicked fantasies of him in chains, his precious Princess' head on a silver platter, and her complete and utter dominion over his mind, body, and soul. Merely sitting around and waiting for her Hero to sweep her off her feet had done her no good, so she instead longed for the day when she would _make him_ sweep her away, whether he or his goddesses wanted it or not.

She chuckled to herself as she trailed her slender fingers from the portrait's cheek, to its lips, and finally to the base of its throat, where they lingered menacingly. Oh, the delicious irony of it all - how her most cherished dreams of love could have spawned such dreadful hate! She would have once called such an idea absurd, but now she found herself intimately familiar with the tiny seed of evil that had bloomed and overtaken her soul. If it could happen to her, it could happen to anyone... perhaps, she realized, even the Hero himself.

Her expression darkened into a menacing grin as a delectably wicked idea came to her. Of course! How could she not have thought of it sooner? Champion of the goddesses or no, the Hero was still human, and all humans were susceptible to the insidious darkness within themselves. If she could tap into that darkness, if she could take advantage of it as the Demon King had of hers, she could bring the man to his knees, or even force him to embrace it, just as she had.

Eager to set her brilliant plan into motion, she slammed the chamber doors over with a wave of her hand, and she bellowed for her minions to bring her crystal to her.

* * *

><p>Deep in the war-torn Valley of Seers, where fires smoldered and corpses lay scattered, there was once a young woman, driven half-mad by the collapse of her dreams.<p>

Her plans had all been foiled; her conquests had proven all but fruitless. Though her armies were vast in number and her power was greater than ever, she had failed to kill the Princess, failed to reclaim the Triforce pieces she had sent away, and failed to use the Hero's seeds of arrogance against him. Even her commanders had abandoned her, those useless curs, and she knew that the Demon King would stop at nothing to retake her Triforce of Power.

She ascended the steps to the valley's innermost sanctum, flinging away the bodies of her fallen troops with her magic in the process. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her fingers trembled; she knew that her other half was right when she warned her of the damage she was doing to herself, but she paid it little mind. It was already far too late for her rage to be tamed, too late for her soul to be "saved" - she would either reign victorious and claim the desires of her heart, or she would die trying.

However, though the flames of envy and spite burned brightly within her black heart, she also found herself succumbing to something she hadn't felt in a long, long time: fear. The final battle was quickly approaching, and her body and spirit were reaching their limits - would she perish before her dreams could be realized? Would she be defeated before she could know the warmth of her love's embrace? Would her valiant rebellion against her cruel fate be all for naught? The fear of losing everything she had fought so hard to claim shook her to her core, and there was only one thing left she could do to cleanse herself of it.

Summoning a small sliver of what energy she had left, she raised her staff in the air, and before her appeared her servant of shadow, her darkness manifest in the shape of the man she loved.

"...Link..."

Her damaged mind warped her senses, and from the black shadow sprang forth colors; the vibrant green of his tunic, the luscious gold of his hair, the deep azure of his beautiful, beautiful eyes...

"Link... my love... why did it have to be this way? Why did this world have to steal my dreams away from me?"

Her Hero did not answer her; he merely watched as she began to shed tears for the first time since she sold her soul to darkness.

"It isn't fair... None of this is fair! Was it really so wrong for me to fall in love!? Was it really so wrong for me to _want_!? I denied myself so much for the good of this world... was it so much to ask for _once chance_ at happiness...!?"

Her vulnerability seeping from the cracks in her sanity, she approached the vision of her Hero, embracing him tightly.

"...Hold me... Please, hold me... keep me safe... don't let me die... don't let me die...!"

She felt a pair of strong arms return her embrace, and she smiled, intoxicated by the warmth in her chest that she had once thought lost forever. Indulging in her delusions, comforted by her madness, she no longer even knew the meaning of fear, because she knew that her Hero was with her.

Yes... her Hero was with her. Her Hero was _always_ with her. And as long as her Hero was by her side, fear was nothing more than a distant memory, and no one, _no one_, would be able take her dreams away from her ever again.


End file.
